Tears of Change

Tears of Change

Change is a difficult circumstance to handle, yet that is truly living life.  Even though we know growth, learning, and joy usually are results of change, we sometimes fight so strongly to be big and handle all the changes by ourselves.  Our physical bodies have pains and hurts.  I don’t know about you but I shed tears with these changes.  In my culture, we were taught that tears can be a sign of weakness, but I absolutely have learned that tears become hope and belief.  There is no sign of weakness when a person comes before God to let Him know how much you need Him.  This week let those tears roll over your cheeks like a waterfall!  God is big enough to catch them all and turn them into the biggest rainbow you could ever imagine!

Tears of Change

My tear tumbles down my cheek.

It is like pearls breaking and falling slowly to the ground.

The tear rest upon my chest as my sorrow wells.

I don’t want God to see me cry.

 

I want Him to know I have faith.

I do have faith that He has all in His hands.

But the emotions of my heart stream forth like a wound just opened.

I know You gave me these emotions.

But so many times they just get away from me.

 

They open up like a bloom exposing its scent to the world.

My soul pops open releasing it hurt.

It knows change is coming.

It is afraid and scared.

 

The one change doesn’t cause this sorrow.

It is the change after change after change.

It happens when the changes are so close together.

And they keep coming.

 

And my soul says no more!

I am not telling God no more.

I am saying I am tired.

Of course He knows.

 

I cry more and more.

I sometimes wail when no one is listening.

Not because God is not there,

But because He is listening.

 

He catches my tears and feeds them to the sun.

It is then when I see the rainbow that I know hope is here.

Lori Rennae Hickman Chapman

I cannot thank you enough for reading with me this week.  I pray tears and joy come to life so you can grow and learn.  Just remember you are never alone!  My love to you!

Love,

Rennae

 

 

 

Journey

 

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Songs of the Soul

Songs of the Soul

Recently as I listened back to some of my good old 70’s music by Jim Croce, I was reminded that we all have a story to tell.  Nothing can get one more inspired than a good old 70’s tune!  And with the new birth of everything outside—grass greening, birds returning, flowers reaching for the sun again—I just wished for all of us to be more willing to tell our stories.  So many people have so many things they have lived through and strive for, but most of the time the stories that go out online or in the media are not inspiring stories.  I really believe there are more of us each day that are doing good things and treating others with dignity and love than ever hits the media realm.  So I want today’s writing to encourage you to tell your story.  It does not have to be in writing, it could be anyway!  Just tell it!  You never know how God is using you with your story to help someone else.  Help this world be one that does hold us tight with love and joy.  It will become contagious if we share it!

Songs of the Soul

The sun rises above the hills and trees.

The shadows give way to light.

The small specks of green begin to creep out from the browns of the cold.

She yearns to move past the walls into the fields.

 

The light brings warmth to her body and her soul.

Birds flip and sing to greet the warmth.

She can smell the various floral scents from the flowers that have awakened.

Buds pop forth and release their fragrance.

 

She wraps her sweater tightly.

She slips into the light,

Faces the sun to let the warmth cleanse her eyes.

The rays hit her cheeks and she smiles.

 

Because she knows there is another story to sing.

She believes there are other pictures to paint.

And there are other words to write.

In telling the special story of one’s soul.

 

She knows there are many stories in the heart to share.

She wants others to share and create their own psalms and songs.

She only wants to sit back and let this ever changing world caress her.

Hold her in its arms.

 

Accept her for who she is.

And nurture her in who she needs to become.

She wants her soul to sing every verse of every song.

And to let her voice be heard beyond the sky.

Lori Rennae Hickman Chapman

Tell that story loud this week!  Put your joy out there and just wait for the blessings to come your way.  As always thank you for being with me this week.  I so appreciate you as my loved one on this journey!  Beautiful blessings!

Love,

Rennae

 

 

 

 

Journey

 

Writing and Living

Writing and Living

Within creative expression, all of life can be brought to the forefront.  One’s life can be observed from the deepest desires to the most minuet descriptions.  Written expression is one way that people can have passion in their lives.  Others use visual arts, build, make wine, play music, bake, or they even do karate!  (yes, my love,  you are creative even though you do not think so!).  As where something seems to be simply stated or something is simply represented, depth of soul can be there.  The simplicity of the creative statement can be the most difficult to interpret.  It really does not matter how the work is perceived by others.  The true beauty of that piece is how it moves and expresses the one invested in its creation.  It is that person who receives the greatest blessing.  Other passer byers will be affected but not to the degree of the creator.  Expression allows one to be free.  Free from the obligations of others, and free from the condemnation of others.  Those truly carrying out creative expression do not need the approval from others.  They simply need to express for their own souls.  Until each person can realize this, one cannot be truly free.  So—-express what you need to in order to the live the way you can most fulfill your life—and your passion!

 

Writing and Living

You live to write or

You write in order to live.

 

It does not matter.

For the words show all.

 

The pain, the joy, the sorrow,

The surprises, the hope, the fear,

The love, the power, the light,

The darkness, the mercy, the comfort,

The security, the unknown, the weak,

The strong, the dreams, the living,

The nows, the tomorrows, the yesterdays.

 

I will live to write and

I will write to live.

 

It s does matter.

For the words show more than all.

Lori Rennae Hickman Chapman

I cannot thank you enough for joining me this week.  My greatest hope is that we together spark conversation and confidence in living our lives.  If not here within the invisible wires, maybe in your real physical circles!  Express, express, express this week!

This week I have to say thanks to a very special man in my life who taught me how working with your hands and your heart can be creative.  That is my dad, Jimmie.  He celebrates his 80th birthday this next week, and I am so glad I have been blessed to have him with me.  I am so glad God gave me to Jim and Em.  Happy Birthday, Jim!  I love you.

Love,

Rennae

 

 

Journey

 

The Last Breath

The Last Breath

It has been three years since Em, my Mom, left this Earth physically.  I created today’s writing about a year after her passing.  When a person has so much influence on your life, it is hard to let go.  I will never forget the doctor saying we have worked all we can and we cannot do anything else.  I also will never forget my response.  I said, “But you don’t understand I have had her for only 55 years.  I don’t want to let go.”  And that was so very true, see it was all about me not Em.  I was being selfish which I know is human nature, but I needed to let Em complete her living.  See Em did not just give me life, she taught me how to really live life.

She loved a party or celebration!  We always had great meals and decorations for all holidays and special occasions.  She showed me the world filled with all the arts.  From the Parthenon, the only museum we had at the time, to the Ryman filled with music.  She exposed me to all types of literature, especially prose.  She taught me to appreciate the Earth and all it can produce, especially the flowers of the fields!  She showed me how to pray and set with someone waiting to be healed.  She demonstrated sympathy to those who lost loved ones and comforted those left behind with love.  I watched as she worshiped God, and even though we were not wealthy I watched her provide and give to others.  She taught me how to be independent and free as a woman.  She showed me how to care for people physically by taking care of my most important gifts on this Earth, my children.  And even in her last weeks as she was in pain we did not know about due to the Alzheimer’s, she showed me how a mother always protects her offspring.  But the most important lesson she gave me was on how to die.  She showed me how to have dignity and accept God’s hand into heaven with comfort and peace.

All of this to say, if  you, family, or friends are having to face or have had to face death recently, remember it is about that person and not about you.  It is about what they have given to you, and what God now wants them to give in heaven.  It is not about the past, but about how God purposefully used them to influence you. And how you use that influence to fulfill your living.  Our experience was a simple breath.  It was not angels swooping down or doves floating near her or clouds and lights.  She simply experienced a peaceful breath.  No matter how that experience happens, and even though it is the hardest thing to do, when you are allowed to experience it with them you are being given a glimpse into glory!  Embrace it and live it!  Not for you, but for them!

The Last Breath

It seems as real today as it was yesterday.

So vivid—so clear.

We really never know when someone will take their last breath.

No one really expects it.

 

We know it has to happen in order to pass into heaven.

But we are really never ready.

Never ready for the absence of that beloved person.

Never ready to let go of that physical love.

 

Breath signifies so much in life.

It is movement which means presence.

It is filling because it provides life.

It is warmth.

 

In the realm that awaits us I really believe it will be so much more.

It will connect us to God’s filling.

It will praise God with all the saints.

It will give peace to our soul.

 

The last breath here on earth is hard to watch.

The absence of that spirit leaves an emptiness.

Our new breath there will be such a great celebration.

It will signify that life eternally is calm, slow, and rich in grace.

 

The last breath is the first breath of peace.

This breath allows the spirit to release itself.

Those of us who witness the last breath on earth are blessed.

We are honored to see that loved one’s first breath in heaven.

Lori Rennae Hickman Chapman

Thanks for your patience in such a lengthy reading this week.  This is just not any quick and easy subject.  I thank you for sharing my journey with me.  And I pray for you and yours that when you experience death, that you can reflect upon this and peace be brought to you.  Thank you again!  Death is not the ending, it is the beginning of the continued journey ahead—-Embrace it!

Alizheimers is a disease that damages the person and their families extensively.  You actually lose your loved one minute by minute and day to day.  This is usually over an extended period of time with your loved one developing intense mental issues as well as physical issues.  The American Alizheimer’s Association is researching and working hard to seek treatments and cures.  To donate or help, contact them at www.alz.org.

Love,

Rennae

 

 

Family and Tradition