The Nightmare

The Nightmare

Some people in this world just live in this life to hurt others.  Unfortunately, the real truth is that these individuals are hurt so deeply themselves that they cannot react in any other way.  This does not justify their actions.  Also, this does not keep their victims from hurting very deeply.  Their victims develop very damaging internal fears deep within their minds.  Unconscious thoughts that are so very buried the victim does not even know they have these thoughts.  Consciously the victim may have forgiven this person and even resolved the hurt in their own lives, but the deep hurt has hidden itself deep into their thoughts, especially into the flight and fright areas of the brain.

In today’s piece I am addressing the victim, not the perpetrator.  But we are calling the victim a survivor because that is exactly what they are!  Survivors are warriors, individuals that cope daily, individuals with strong hearts, those know how to persevere, and demonstrate the greatest hope possible!  Today’s piece is about this type of trauma and how to overcome.  Yes!  One can overcome!  The most important question in all of this is for the survivor—“How can I push past this trauma and move on?”.

This is not an easy question, nor an easy process.  Usually the process includes several paths of success.  It has to be a consistent one instilling safety, hope, and love within the survivor.  We must each and every day as a survivor remind ourselves that hope is greater than this type of hurt.  That joy and love can be seeded deep within out thoughts as well as hurt.  Surround yourself with positive, loving people.  Participate in activities that bring you joy.  Cry and laugh because both help.  If you are this survivor or someone you know is, never stop hoping.  Also seek professional help because talking or bringing this hurt to the forefront will allow you to let go.  There are so many excellent professionals these days that can help.  Stay true to your path in seeking hope and fill your life with joy and love!  Our strength will overcome the hurt!  We are survivors!

The Nightmare

I cry out in my dream.

Hoping someone will hear.

Someone will deliver me,

From the ones that haunt me.


One moves through the day.

Never expecting your mind.

To collapse in the night.

To be chased again by the dark ones.


Why and how can one be scared?

Even frightened.

From the ones living in your past.

Why?  When you have tried to move on.


My heart beats out of my chest.

I hold onto the sheets for my life!

The pillow holds my buried head.

It takes me moments to know it is not real.


Why does the mind hide these deep inside?

I wish it could just forget.

As I gasp for air,

Tears run down my face.


Finally, I see the dim lights.

And I know they are far away.

I realize I am safe.

In my own place and home.


There are so many memories we wish not to forget.

But these we wish to never meet again.

If only I could be saved.

To never have to go there again.


I know this is not where I live now.

My days are filled with joy!

My hours are consumed with pleasures,

And smiles carry me day to day!


So why deep in my mind does it hurt?

How can I be pulled to the past so easily?

Dragged through the hurt,

And punished again?


There is certainty.

I will not be frightened by these nightmares.

In my conscience I choose joy!

I have and will make a blessed life!


Even though the dark ones claw at my dreams,

They will not claw at my conscience dreams.

My days will be filled with glory and pure happiness!

This will overshadow the nightmare.

Lori Rennae Hickman Chapman

I hope this week you have been inspired to strengthen yourself and heal the hurt you may have experienced.  Or maybe if someone you love has been hurt, you can be their support in this time.  We are all survivors from something in our pasts, but we are also survivors that will make this a more beautiful, loving world!  My prayers are with you as you seek your blessings, hope, and joy!  Let’s go show this world what a survivor can do!







I Am Always With You

I Am Always With You

Deep inside our being lies pieces of all our ancestors.  Little pieces from parents, grandparents, great-grandparents, and generations after generations that came before us.  All of this heritage placing their hope in the next generation to carry their pieces into the future.  Their hope being that they could make the lives of others better by accomplishing amazing goals in order to help mankind.  In order that the next generation could do, see, and experience the world greater than they ever could!  Whether we want it or not, these small pieces make us who we are.  Our family goes where we go, and experiences what we experience.  These family members know and knew that our children have their own souls with their own journeys.  They also knew that their children have their own souls and should design their own personal journeys.

However, as our children mature, they really want to know their heritage is always with them inside their own choices, their travels, and their dreams!  No matter where they go or what they do, they need to know family and ancestors are there with them.  As my babies became adults, I felt it imperative that they know they always take us with them, but on their own journeys.  My piece today honors that passing of oneself to those we love.  It lets them know they are never, ever alone in this world.  They should know you are always with them, deep, deep inside!  They should also know they carry the dreams, hopes, and ambitions of their heritage with them as well!  Make sure this week that the younger ones in your family know they are never alone in this world.  They will become stronger and know how important they are in this world—-helping mankind and spreading the love of their heritage!

I Am Always With You

Carry me with you

Wherever you go.

To the green hills of Ireland.

And through the green grass of Central Park.


Let me see the things

I will never see.

The rose gardens of England.

The Flower Fields of Carlsbad.


My years will run out.

Before I see all the good God has done.

You can carry me to the southern white beach sands.

And to the smooth rocky ones of Nice.


I want to see the ancient stones of my forefathers.

And the ruins of Rome.

You can help me get there.

My inner parts are your inner parts.


Let me smell the fresh air from the cliffs of Moher,

And that in the Smokies and Rockies.

My soul will breathe in the clean, open air,

Because you have breathed it in.


My eyes may never land upon the sands of Egypt,

Nor the deserts of the west.

But when you see the majesty of such gifts,

I will also see.


I do not know if my skin will feel the sprays of Malibu

Or the ocean waters of Savannah.

I am confident if you are there,

So, I will be.


I want to feel the rocks of Colorado.

And sit upon the rocks of Tennessee.

You will sit, climb, and hike these amazing rocks,

If you are there, I will also be there.


The San Francisco bridge, yes the Goldengate, in the sunset

Is something I want to see.

I want to walk with you

Across the swinging bridge at Rock City.


Give me the awe experience of the Hawaiian volcanoes.

Or the remnants of Pompei.

When you say she cannot be here.

I will be there because of you.


Everyone will continue,

Because you continue.

My mother and father,

Their mothers and fathers.


Do not cry for me.

Nor be sad.

I am so elated,

That I can see God because of you!


Where you go,

I go.

What you see,

I see.


What you hear and smell,

I will hear and smell.

Where you be,

I will be.


Smile as large as you can smile,

Because I am right beside of you.

You are holding me in your heart.

Keeping me in your mind.


Remembering our times!

Lori Rennae Hickman Chapman

Encourage your children to know their heritage is within them, and that means you and their family are always there.  Let them know they are fulfilling dreams that others could only think about.  But most of all, make sure they know how to pass the dreams and hopes on to the next future generation!  Provide confidence to your family this week by reassuring them you are always with them!  Blessings upon you and your family this week!











Portrait of My World

Portrait of My World

The choices we make as human beings can be positive or negative.  Choices are usually based on our own views.  Unfortunately, because we are human, the choice we will lean toward is the negative.  How we look upon day to day living, or how we view the world is a choice no matter the direction we go.  Why people lean more toward the negative than the positive, I will never know.  Maybe they have been hurt over and over.  Maybe they have experienced a pain greater than they can bear.  We just do not know what others have been through.  Maybe it is just easier for them to “wallow” in the negative, than to be lifted up in the positive.  It is ours not to say, since we have not lived their lives.

For whatever reason, it does not mean we cannot have sympathy or empathy for others and help them change their view.  We can help lift them into the real colorful, beautiful world.  We can all choose to see the positive side.  The side of goodness, beauty, and love!  I encourage you today to take the higher road of positivity.  It is not always an easy choice, but it is so well worth the choice.  Look to the beauty and love through the positive portrait of the world!

Portrait of My World

I want to paint you a picture of my world.

Where I see the greenest of greens in all the plants,

And the bluest of blues are in the waters and the sky.


I have so many colors in my world.

You would never believe.

The deepest of crimsons in the clover,

And the brightest of yellows in the sunflowers.


The oranges and pinks are so brilliant in the sunset.

While the browns of the Earth are the richest,

And the ebonies within the sky are the deepest.


The indigo butterflies are so deep they reach my soul.

My bright red birds sing for my joy.

The whites of the clouds appear to be as fluffy,

As marshmallows themselves!


Every single one making up this world I see.

The beauty and magnificent!

All the good and the best!


Now I could see a portrait quite different.

Where the reds run as blood,

And the blues are dark and desperate.

The ebony of the night sends chills through us all.


Or I might see the Earth only as a destroyed brown and swiveled green surface.

The blacks would lead to tar pits and the suffering they caused.

Sheets of white could only be seen covering the dead.


The yellows and the purple are bruises left on people from abuse.

And the oranges show us only emergencies.

The only pink are the flowers upon the graves,

And the blue is shown only in the tears of those mourning.


Yes, I could see this world in the later.

Where evil, hurt, and despair dwell,

And where each heart cries to be relieved.


But I will not see my world this way!

Because my world was not meant to be this way.

The world was born of love and compassion.

Its colors were meant to lift us and raise us to a great height of joy!


It was formed to provide good in a multiple array of colors!

Displayed as a Monet or Rembrandt in the museum.

My world will be a masterpiece of love, kindness, and care!


And my portrait will stand the test of time,

Reflecting the many colors that each of us sees.

Colors of love and life!

Demonstrating love can never be covered by dried, old paint.

Lori Rennae Hickman Chapman

Make your portrait of the world beautiful and colorful this week!  It is so much more peaceful to grasp for hope rather than despair.  If you know of someone that needs hope this week, reach out.  I realize we cannot physically reach out right now, but there are multiple other ways to reach out.  You will be blessed for spreading the beauty, as well as the one you are spreading it to!  Color this world with beauty and hope in order to spread love and positivity.  God bless you and your family this week with all the beautiful portraits of this world!











Happy Easter!  A great time of celebration for many of us this week!  I just could not let the week pass without discussing Heaven.  In my culture, we all look so forward to when our ascension into Heaven occurs.  I know that my Creator came and revealed Himself as a person, Jesus, over two thousand years ago.  This allowed us to relate in a very personal way to God, Himself.  Just like us, He chose to be born, live, and die to experience and develop a relationship to each of us.  It is not the death that we celebrate this Easter time, but His great triumph over death on this plane in reaching the next plane of living, Heaven.  But most importantly to demonstrate to us hope.  Hope of a peaceful living beyond the grave, Heaven.  Jesus ascending into the “heavens”, the sky, returning to Himself is a perfect example of the hope we are given.  Leaving His Holy Spirit here on Earth to dwell in our souls forever even after ascension.  Even though most of us believe this, we cannot look at this as the destination of arrival.  Heaven should be out journey of living and where the journey continues.  Just like the times we are in now.  We can trust and hope for our journey of love to continue beyond any realm on this physical Earth.  Whatever your Heaven looks like today, it does not matter.  Most cultures have very different views of Heaven, but most do hope in the journey continued.  What matters is that our desire for hope and love is greater than anything else! And all cultures believe in hope and love!  And we understand that our hope and love growing is part of the entire journey!


The place that is well known,

Yet does not physically exist.

The goal of the journey,

Yet the journey itself.


Arguments are held over its existence.

Opinions on its presence.

Some seeking rewards and prizes.

Other seeking peace of the soul.


Do I remain who I am when I reach the location?

Or do I transform into a better soul?

Will others be with me?

To bring joy and soothe my heart.


I feel as if I am in Heaven sometimes.

Yes!  Right here and right now!

With all of these many blessings.

Love, kindness, and care.


Who’s to say these blessings aren’t heaven?

And when we move to the other realm,

All these blessings are even bigger!

Maybe everyone’s Heaven is different?


The smells, sights, and sounds that make us feel at home in our hearts,

Yet the conversation that pierces the soul for direction.

The hope through pain and destruction,

Yet the anticipation from deeds that are earned by glory and self.


Presence with self,

Yet most of all being.

Being in the presence of the Spirit, the Almighty, and the Man.

Heaven yesterday, today, and tomorrow!

Lori Rennae Hickman Chapman

I know the discussion of “Heaven” in many beliefs and cultures is very different.  I believe because we are all very different people, we need many different perspectives.  God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit indicated that all people would be reached.  What better way than meeting people where they are!  No matter what perspective you take, I pray your soul can believe there is hope on this journey and that the journey becomes better and better as our souls breathe on, loving ourselves and others!  Chose to live in “Heaven” this week with every breath you take!  Be safe and practice hoping!  Blessings and love!








Losing someone or something, like health, stability, or a home, can be very, very painful.  I wrote the piece today during a very painful time of loss in my life.  For a time prior to and after I wrote this piece, I faced many losses.  The first was seeing a decline in mine and my husband’s health.  I had faced a tumor on my kidney, but even worse, my husband had to go through open heart surgery.  During the surgery, he had a stroke and went into a coma.  We came very close to losing him.  Then in the middle of all this happening, my profession went through a life changing time, my children were all leaving for college presenting us with an empty nest, we lost my Mother after a long battle with Alzheimer’s, and our oldest son found out he had cancer.  In all of this, I almost lost myself.  I did not know who I was or who I was supposed to be.  I continued to lose one essential part of my life after another.  And it just would not stop!  It was beyond painful.

Finally, after prayer, talking and listening to God, the search for peace, time, therapy, and the support of family and friends, I was able to recover, especially by maintaining hope.  But many people do not have these types of support systems, or they do not realize they do.  To be in such a spot can make things seem very dark and lonely.  If you ever find yourself this lost, understand there are supports for you.  The supports are out there.  You must never give up hope!  Through all of my “appeared losses”, I came out with a huge amount of gains or wins!  My husband recovered fully, and even had to go through a second open heart surgery 5 years later that was very successful.  My husband and I were able to take several much needed, relaxing trips.  God gave us beautiful grandbabies during this time.  My professional life took a more positive turn that led to retirement.  My sweet Mama was not in pain any longer and at peace once again.  Our oldest son fought and beat cancer!  Our children continued working hard on their educations and careers.

The path is not always visible when you only see losses, but it is there leading to a brighter direction!  God is always there!  You will see that your loss will so help others in its own special way.  The loss will also help you to grow!  I certainly know there are many more  people out there that have been through much more than I have ever been through.  I talked about all of these losses this week, so you would know if I can make it through these times of loss, you can too!  Never forget, you are never alone.  A loss can truly be a win!


By losing everyone,

I am losing myself.

I don’t know my place in this world anymore.

There are so many losses.


I am no longer a daughter.

I am no longer a mother.

I am no longer a wife.

I am no longer a teacher.


When your place is being erased little by little,

Your hope weakens.

I am losing.

Losing the fight against loss.


What does it mean to be just me?

I’ve been for others so long.

I have no idea where I came from,

Or where I need to go.


Daughter, wife, teacher, and mother,

Dreams seem to be a thing of the past.

The joy seeps out of each day.

Smiles are harder to make as wrinkles of worry cover my face.


Losing is not about control.

Losing is not a about a destination.

It’s about the empty space in your heart.

Losing everyone is about losing yourself.


Please come back to me,

So I can know who I am again.

So I can love life again.

So I can be rich for my family once more.

Lori Rennae Hickman Chapman

All of our journeys are very different.  Time of our losses may be different for each of us, but hope and healing is always there no matter your time of suffering.  It will come!  There are always gains with the losses.  Not necessarily what we expect, but what we need!  I pray you and your families are safe and healthy.  We know God is helping all of us during this trying time in our country with this disease.  May you and your family be blessed this week!  Stay safe and protective.  My love goes to you and your family.  Always know someone is here for you!