I was hurt very badly about 5 years ago.  The pain was incredible.  The hurt crippled me causing me to lose my self confidence and to doubt myself.  All of this hurt led to embarrassment, ridicule, and a major change in my life.  A change not of my own choosing.  This hurt also came at the very same time of a personal loss, the death of my mom.  It was not easy getting to where I could voice what is in my piece today.  I am not going to lie or sugar coat it, the climb back has been very difficult.  I was so shocked that me as a 58 year old could be knocked down so easily.  I was a strong woman that knew who she was, where she came from, and her purpose in this world.  I found out quickly when pain is administered that deeply and for so long, we do become vulnerable and weak, physically and mentally.

As I said the journey back has been rough, but it was possible!  I have gained back confidence, learned that new purposes arise at any age, and rediscovered my joy!  Bullies are very good at persecution, but God and the Holy Spirit are much better at taking you above this level.  They guide you and allow you to rise above.  I also could not have moved forward on this journey if it had not been for my family.  My husband was amazing support who stayed positive for me and continues today.  Your strength can be rebooted when the love you receive comes through God’s blessings.  I am sure these bullies feel they had a victory and won the power they wanted, but I have gained the power to have the very last word.  They have had to live with knowing their wrongs and evil in their hearts, while I have celebrated my new life in my heart!

So today or tomorrow don’t ever let a bully think they have the ending to the story, because they do not.  Seek the support of those sent to you by God, friends, and family.  Be led by the Holy Spirit to grow strong!  Your love and living to state the last word will be the true ending!  I hope my experience can inspire you today and provide you with hope for tomorrow!  You have the last word!  It’s your life!  And God is paving the way for your beautiful experience!

The Last Word

You bring me before the judges.

You make me come alone.

You ridicule me.

Your insults stab into my integrity.

 

Your false documents are presented against me.

Your voice demands that I get out.

You make me go without goodbyes or closure.

You tell me I am through.

 

You embarrassed me.

You have shamed me.

You are stealing a life celebration from me.

You deface my character.

 

You tell me no one else wants me.

You send me to be with others you have chosen to exile.

Your secret insults have come in the darkness of the night for the last time.

I have become tired of your weak form of leadership.

 

Bullies do not lead.

You think you have won.

You cock your head in arrogance.

But……

 

With a voice like thunder, I say stop!!!

I breathe in with all my strength to the bottom of my soul.

I stop running and turn toward you.

I face you by myself.

 

With a stern, calm voice, I say you will go no further.

I will not allow you.

I will not run anymore.

I will not be afraid.

 

I did everything you wanted.

I continuously changed whether it was right or not.

I will change no more.

I have been here longer and done this longer than you have.

I have changed for the very best when I needed to.

 

I know my research and what is right for mine.

I am here for them to be successful and to feel worth.

I am only faithful to them.

Not for you to further your political climbs.

You will not use me or them for your benefit.

 

You will no longer intimidate me with your positions.

I felt I had more to contribute.

More to give.

But that giving will come another day in another way.

 

The celebration you think you have robbed me of will happen anyway.

I will continue to celebrate though living itself.

You cannot stop me from helping people.

You cannot stop me from speaking out about what is right in this life.

 

I turn my back to you and firmly say get out of here.

Goodbye dictator bullies.

My light cannot be extinguished by you or others like you.

Because my light was formed to shine beyond your evil.

Lori Rennae Hickman Chapman

No one controls your life.  You make choices and through faith God guides you in those choices.  You are also protected from bullies so don’t forget that as well.  It may appear that they get the  small things they want, but God provides us with so much more through grace and love.  Step into the new year as a confident and strong person championing for love!  He also let’s us see the big picture.  And when we are given this awareness with grace and love, we grow above these bullies understanding they have deep pain.  Bullies cannot grow until they can accept this grace and love.  Step up and step out today in order to have the last word.  It will help your journey to move on if you voice it and put it out there.  I pray for strength in your voice this week and blessings on your journeys ahead!  End this year by sharing your voice with the last word in the old year and the first word in the new year!

Love,

Rennae

 

 

Journey

 

 

 

 

 

 

The symbolism God has provided us is quit amazing!  He knows human nature and understands we love the attachment to symbols.  The star of the east, the manager, the wisemen’s gifts, the star of David, the menorah, and the Christmas tree are just a few.  All religions use symbolism.  The one I am focusing on today is the Christmas tree.  Christmas trees over the last hundreds of years have become very personal.  Lights are added as Martin Luther did, but now personal adornments of all types are added by family members.  The adornments represent where people have gone, what they have seen, what they like, what they believe and experience, who they love, who loves them, and who they are.  I know in our house, it is not the real season until the Christmas tree goes up!  It represents all of us individually, yet it represents our uniting as a family.  Symbolism can be a good thing as long as it does not overshadow God and His purpose.  And as long as it does not overshadow the love for others.  I have more of a belief that God uses these symbols in order to speak to us.  As you read today, think about your family representations on the family tree!  Make sure everyone is counted in.  And look for why God led you to make the choices of adornments that you made!

Only a Christmas Tree

Twinkle!

Sparkle!

Sprinkle!

Jingle!

 

The colored sparkles create twinkles.

The branches hold the treasures of the past.

Each specifically put on the tree to hold it’s special location.

 

Pine cones are close to the tree base and body.

Some lights dance across the limbs.

Some climb to the star at the top.

 

The feathered birds perch upon the ends of the limbs.

Bells slightly jingle when the breeze brushes them.

The deer prance around the branches as if they were ready to fly!

 

There are mermaids, owls, trucks, cars, angels, and ballerinas.

You will see penguins, candles, stars, eggs, and metal dangles.

Little houses, dogs, footballs, and snowmen clump together.

 

While other round orbs stand alone, bright and shining with many colors.

Wooden painted characters sit resting around the lights.

Sequin shapes of all types scatter around reflecting the dazzling sparkles!

 

Each family member searches for their own treasure.

Each adornment represents a year for the family.

Each one tells a story.

 

A story of times together.

One of fun and adventure.

One of love and new experiences.

 

These branches may only appear to be a tree.

And the ornaments may only seem to be bobbles.

But this monument represents a journey.

 

A journey of a family.

Where they have been,

Who inspired them,

What they cherish,

And where they will go!

Lori Renae Hickman Chapman

I pray that you and your family will be spoken to by God and His symbols this holiday season as you share love around the tree.  Grieve for those represented that are gone.  Celebrate with those close and holding your hand.  Express hope for those that will enter your family.  Give thanks that you have been allowed so much love in your life!  Symbolism can be a blessed way to enjoy and experience God’s never ending love.  Merry Christmas and Blessings to each and everyone!

Love,

Rennae

 

 

Blessings

 

I know it can be achieved.  I believe it can really happen. What?  Peace, internal and external.  One of the greatest Bible verses given to us with this welcoming holiday season is “Peace on Earth, and Goodwill Toward Men”.  In many cases, verses seem to be written for that specific place or time in the Bible and do not always seem relevant to us, but this one appears to be timeless.  It is really amazing how God left this one in, so it could be for every time and every place.  Many other historical religious leaders and pieces of historical documentations also proclaim the same message.  Yet still thousands of years later we yearn for peace and goodwill.  Is it because God knew man’s nature would constantly battle and struggle for power and glory instead of peace and goodwill?  Personal issues are constantly in our minds demonstrating the struggle is constant in the day to day life.  Who really knows the reason why God left it in or why other leaders proclaimed this as great in importance, but what we do know is that we need it today as desperately as it was needed thousands of years ago.  So—for this season try to let the struggle and battle go!  Use peace as your confidence and goodwill as your gift!  Search for the peace, and distribute that goodwill!  Your life will be so blessed!

Peace

The feelings are very anxious.

The fears become greater.

The focus becomes dim.

The foundation is shaky.

 

Then within seconds or moments all become so little.

Joyful feelings take over the anxiety.

Hope consumes the fears that were once there.

The mirror becomes bright and the focus sharpens.

 

And under our feet the ground becomes solid once again.

The light becomes bright.

The glory surrounds us!

Comfort spreads from bone to bone.

 

God is with us.

God is in us.

God is the joy.

It is not me or I or us.

 

God is the peace.

I am the peace.

We are the peace because God is us.

Peace in this reality can be true!

Lori Rennae Hickman Chapman 

Peace is like a joyful disease!  It just takes one joyful person to contaminate another, and then that one passes it to others.  Demonstrating goodwill is also contagious!  It gives your the heart that warm glow that settles in the heart allowing that soul to have peace.  And at the base of all this peace and goodwill is God.  God who put this concept of peace into motion with a simple phrase.  Prayers of peace and goodwill for you and your family this beautiful holiday season!

Love,

Rennae

 

 

Journey

 

 

It is very difficult this time of year, the holidays, for many people who have lost loved ones.  It really doesn’t matter if they have been gone 1 week, 1 year, or 10 years.  There are always memories and times that were spent with the loved one that resurface.  My piece today demonstrates one of those times.  The piece is about the year Em, my mom, died, and when I unpacked her Christmas stocking.  Every memory about Christmas with her flooded back.  Which it should have.  I don’t ever want to lose those times or memories.  I was so sad, and this Christmas when I unpack the stockings, I will feel loss again.  But we must look for the hope that the loved has given us.

Em would say the greatest treasure of hope during Christmas was a mantel that could not hold any more stockings.  In other words, the family is over flowing with hope!  In my case the hope was knowing that it takes another special edition to the family that will help the pain.  Not remove the pain, but help it.  We have to remember those so close to our hearts, but also grasp for the hope in tomorrow.  So keep those momentos (stockings, ornaments, etc.) so you will never forget the love you were given in this life by a very special soul!  Keep these to know how blessed you are!  But hang the new ones hoping for tomorrow!

The Christmas Stocking

So personal.

You tell me who I am.

You let me know I am a part of others.

When you hang in your special spot.

I know that I always have a spot.

I know all the ones I love have spots in this world.

 

When all the excitement around unpacking the stockings happens,

One cannot help but to be elated!

Unwrapping each from its’ tissue and placing it where it belongs.

The hurt comes when the box is opened to find a specific stocking,

A stocking that has the name of the loved one that has passed.

And you know the stocking will be removed.

 

Tears well up.

You are reminded they had their place.

You miss them so very much.

You hold it close to your cheek.

Because it makes you remember them.

You also feel closer to them when you do.

 

You realize hanging the stocking among the others

Would sadden others on such a joyous day.

And the loved one has their own stocking in heaven.

You know the one you miss has moved on.

So you also must move on.

You keep the stocking so the memory will not let you forget.

 

You hold it carefully in your hands.

Folding it in such an honorable way.

You place it back into the Christmas box to be guarded as a family heirloom.

Then you glance across the room.

There lays a new stocking.

This one is added to the collection this year.

 

A new soul will be added as the family grows.

So tears flow again for the great hope we have been given.

Hope for the new generations to give love.

So anytime I see a stocking.

I don’t think about gifts, candies, or goodies that are inside.

I know this stocking will represent a special soul, somewhere in a special family.

Lori Rennae Hickman Chapman

Hang the stockings, place the ornaments, and tie the garland this year!  And remember those we have been allowed to love, and those we will be given to love in the future.  Memories are good for the heart, and hope for tomorrow is good for the soul!  Merry memories this week!  But keep the tissues close!

Love,

Rennae

 

 

Grace