My Time

My Time

We have a yearning for a purpose.  And we want others to know we are important in accomplishing that purpose.  We want to be heard.  Often I want to yell at the top of my lungs, “This is me!!!  See what I can do!!”.  Deep inside of us, we all know we are meant for something special.  It is necessary to feel that importance in our time.  This is what keeps us striving and moving forward.  We want that accomplishment to happen within our own time.  The difficult part is discovering what that yearning is and if we have accomplished it.  What purpose do you have?  Are you accomplishing that purpose in pieces of time or have you reached that great purpose and are actually holding the entire clock in your hand?  These are questions we must ask ourselves in order to grow personally and to really know what is meant for us.  And you know it is ok to sometimes say, “Look!!!  Look what I can do!!”  or “Look what I did!!!  I have helped the world to be better!”  I hope I hear you yell this week about your purpose in time!  I hope you are brave in voicing your purpose so you can capture your seconds and minutes that make your time shine!

My Time

My song calls out.

It calls out into the universe.

Asking for direction and guidance.

The call is sometimes loud.

And sometimes quiet.


I just want to speak into the abyss.

Where either all can hear or none can hear.

I want the sound to penetrate the emptiness.

I want my message to ride the waves,

Deep into the black holes of the eternity.


When we are young all of this seems so far away,

But as age moves upon us.

What we are…

And where we are going…

Can seem to have disappeared.


The urgency increases because I feel I am running out of time.

Will I do what I was predestined to do?

When and how will I know?

Or have I passed the point,

And will I never hear back?


Is my song calling?

Maybe no one or nothing will hear it or know it but me.

The call goes deep inside and rest inside my crevices.

It rattles my brain.

It reaches my soul.


Am I happy to die?

Do I feel completed?

Can I go with peace?

I am not sure I can answer these,

Especially if I am not heard in my time.

Lori Rennae Hickman Chapman

Thank you so very much for sharing your time with me this week.  I am so blessed that my life includes you and your families.  May God bless your precious time now in this precious place!  Make your purpose known!  Grab those clocks, and shout from the mountain tops!








The Reality of Existence

The Reality of Existence

Have you ever found yourself in the middle of a crowd of people to wake up from a daydream and realize you were not really alone at all?  You feel as though you have stopped in time and no one even knows you are there. You come back to reality realizing you have been off all alone in this reality of your own.  It is so easy to become withdrawn and silent in a sea of people.  It is so much easier to appear as if all is well and ok as you nod and walk through your day.  This is how many of us function each day.  As we visited my daughter in New York, this was so apparent on the subway.  I wish I could say that was the only place I have witnessed it happening, but that would not be true.  Going to the grocery or going through Target can display the same environment.  Matter of fact I have even witnessed it at church.  You find yourself in the middle of believers like you, but you feel alone and abandoned.  However, walking through your day without relationships is not living your day.  Interacting with others is real work!  It is difficult to put yourself out there.  You could be hurt or damaged.  You could be rejected.  We cannot let this type of self-talk direct our lives and living.  We have to be the one to speak up in a crowd.  We have to come out of our own deep reality to the real world and interact with the real people around us, not the ones in our memories only.  So don’t let your mind wander into that lonely reality.  When you see yourself drifting into the quiet zone, yank yourself back to the people zone!  You never know who God is sending your way in order to make new memories!

The Reality of Existence

Away from reality for a short amount of minutes,

But in our own existence without ever knowing forever.

The smells, the colors, the laughs, the company, and the feelings.

They are all there,

But the times for these never return.


Yet to remain within.

Time is no more.

Some call it dreaming.

Others call it insanity.

It is reality away from reality.


I call it not being alone,

Except I really am.

Alone talking to myself.

About the what ifs and the whys.


My mind ask itself.

Why do I even want to hold onto the times?

Because the memories refresh the soul?

Or is it because the ones that the memories are shared with soothe the heart?


Am I the only one that does this?

Am I the only one that hears myself clearly?

Am I the only one that hurts from the absence of being?

All the questioning makes me tired.


The questions jump back to dream again.

I awaken from my reality and realize the room is full of people.

My reality is that I am surrounded by people.

My existence is that I am alone again.

Lori Rennae Hickman Chapman

Sometimes quiet time is good for us if we use this time to grow and expand our love.  But be careful this week that quiet time does not become too comfortable.  Trust God in the place he has you, and the people He is choosing for you to interact with.  Great things have come from trust!  You are not alone–ever! Happy mingling this week!













I Believe

I Believe

We so easily put our trust into many things every day that we just cannot see.  We assume so much about simple things produced through science and technology that we question very little of what is thrown at us.  Yet when it comes to the “big things”, we hesitate to place our faith where we truly believe.  I love the fact that I don’t have to see everything to believe.  Maybe it’s the renegade in me or the dreamer, but I can live not having to see everything.  I hope this week you can accept more on faith.  And I pray that you can stand strong in your belief without having to see!  Use your other senses, especially your heart, to strengthen your trust and faith in the unknown!

I Believe

Clouds moving.

Trees moving by unseen wind.

Chimes bringing sound to our ears.

How we see but we don’t.


We trust the storm will be pushed on by the wind.

The clouds and the rain are carried on the spine of the wind.

We have faith that the wind will slow to a breeze after the storm.

The rain and winds dissipate.


The water flows forth from an unknown source.

It carries pebbles to spots where creatures can live.

Creatures serve the fish who are propelled by the water and serve as food.

We believe but don’t see the source.


The tree line and the hills are covered with all types of growth.

Every tree we can imagine shoots to the sky.

We see the towering foliage, but we don’t see where it stands.

And we still believe.


The silky, smooth texture taste so good as I slowly drink or eat.

I know it just makes my cookie and yogurt so rich and delicious.

Yet I believe it will taste that way.

And I don’t see where it came from.


The hug gives me warmth and smiles inside.

I know who gives the hug.

But I don’t know how it could make me feel loved.

However, I believe it does.


I don’t see,

But I know.

It is invisible,

But I believe.


You are not visible,

Yet I believe.

Is it not enough that I believe?

I believe it is.

Lori Rennae Hickman Chapman

I appreciate you reading with me this week.  My life is so blessed by your hearts joining me to challenge and discuss tough subjects.  Thank you!  Know your belief and stand strong by exercising your faith!







Spots In The Grass

Spots In The Grass

About this time of year, we start spying little brown fawns with delicate white spots in our grasses.  We watch during May and June to see if moms will appear that are ready to give birth.  They will ramble all around the property, and then they will jump the fenced three acres portion.  For some reason, they seem to feel safe in this area and have chosen to return every year for about five years to our land to deliver their precious babies.  Are you like the deer and find yourself retreating to your safe zone?  If the answer is yes, then know that a safe zone is good to have!  We must retreat in life to live more fully.  So, don’t deprive yourself of a retreat to the safe zone.  God intends for us to rest as well as to play and work!  Find your safe zone this week and relax!

Spots in the Grass

As the light brown tail gently swags,

Her tiny ears and spots emerge.

Mom urges her to follow.

She stays close.

Then suddenly a second set of ear tips barely rise above the grain.

More spots gently move across the scape.


Not one, but two!


Off they go toward the creek to play, to learn, and to grow.

The trees change to many colors.

The winter falls upon the land.

The greens of spring and summer pop up around us once more.

As the grain starts to reach the sky,

The body is back but the spots have disappeared.

This time she is closer.

More in the safer places near the house.

Protected by fencing, tree lines, and bushes.


Her spots are now a pure, smooth brown.

Her tail is fluffy and white as cotton.

Then suddenly behind her follows another small one.

They emerge from behind the ironweed and the goldenrod.

For days they come out to show their beauty with us.

Then one day only the baby is there.


The baby lies in the tall grass.

She wanders through the shrubs, nibbling the leaves.

The sweet animal makes herself paths through the grasses.

The big brown dog leads her through the field.

The soft baby eats the blackberries.

She gets stronger on her legs,

And stronger in her heart.


The beautiful body comes closer to us.

We want so much to intervene.

Our urge is to friend her, feed her, and pet her,

But we keep our distance.

We know she must learn to be on her own.

Mom comes to visit at dusk and dawn.

She brings the other adults, bucks and does, with her.

They wait and watch the baby.

Then they quietly go back into the shadow of the trees.


Days pass and the grass changes color again.

Weeks pass and the trees turn red, orange, and yellow again.

Mom now jumps the gate and joins the healthy baby.

The herd watches patiently.

Mom nudges the baby and they seem to float across the gate joining the herd.

The herd quietly and slowly retreats through the field and into the trees.


The trees protect them all for the coming winter.

The little one moves slowly glancing back.

Wanting to stay, but wanting to leave.

Our wish is that the mature ones will be brave

And our brown spots in the grass will learn to be brave.

Hopefully our spots will feel safe to share life with us again and in other ways.

We can envision another season will led them back to visit and share with us once more.

These quiet yet strong beings will teach us trust.

They will teach us responsibility.

The spots in the grass will give us hope.

Lori Rennae Hickman Chapman

Thank you for sharing your time and attention this week.  I am always honored for you joining me.  May you be blessed this week to find and enjoy your safe zone!  May love and relaxing find your way!









Plight of the Judges

Plight of the Judges

If you are a woman, the swimsuit season can send dread through your spirit.  From the hunt for the right one to the first trip out in the new suit.  Many of us fill up with dread.  We love the water and the wonderful sun season, but the emphasis on size and shape can just be too much for our psyche and soul.  We self-judge and compare ourselves to the images presented in the media that are just unrealistic for most.  And even though, the piece today may veer toward more weight, many women who cannot keep weight on, also go through the same torment.  Environment and circumstances can be responsible for the various weights that we have, but we also must recognize genetics play a key role in determining how we look, metabolism, and body composition.  A high degree of genetics is based also on heritage—what our families went through to survive.  The truth is we should throw all negative views out.  If we do not judge others, we should not judge ourselves.  We need to accept ourselves, and chose the colors and the flair of the suit that speaks to our inner personalities and spirits.  We should step out, head up, shoulders back, and smiles lit showing who we really are!  So—pull, tug, and strap those suits own!  Grab those towels and flip flops and suit up!!!!  It is our time to shine!!

Plight of the Judges

Pious, little bony asses.

Never understanding the shame of size.

Rib bones protruding between the two pieces of cloth.

While it takes yards of cloth to cover ridges, bumps, and bulges.


Noses reaching up to the sky leaving their nostrils to be seen by the defeated.

The defeated slump their shoulders slightly,

Knowing these bitches ridicule and laugh at them.

The defeated seek to cover more.


Does size matter?

Hell yeah!

It matters!

A visual, groping society that seeks temporary satisfaction tells us it matters.


Society judges.

People judge.

These thin haughty whores judge.

They judge those that don’t appear in physical form as they do.


They place characteristics on those of us that don’t fall into their “sizes”.

They question why do you let yourself be that way?

How can you be so fat and ugly?

You do know no one wants you.


If they were ask why they torment others this way,

They would deny that they do.

The judges would lie against their fathers and their mothers.

They live in lies.


As long as they “look” like their own standards.

So all they know are lies.

It does not seem to matter that the defeated are loving, caring, brilliant, funny, and good.

All the sick society and bitches can see is size.


Piles of bones eaten by the lies of self-interest.

The bony bitches and suffocating society will die in their own lies.

Their desires of outer focus will bury their misery,

But misery will consume their forms.


When the picture is developed and the images are clear,

The defeated will rise to decide the fate of the judges.

The defeated will reign with their creative minds in the mist of glory.

Their inner lights will over shadow the outer shapes and sizes.

Lori Rennae Hickman Chapman

I pray this week that you will accept yourself and enjoy being who you are.  You were made for a specific purpose just how you are.  Enjoy every season, even swimsuit season, by enjoying yourself!  Thank you so much for sharing your time with me and reading this week.