I was so blessed to celebrate 41 years of marriage with my sweet man this last week! I just could not help but to reflect on what 41 years of real love look like. As I did the realistic view of life, commitment just came to the surface. I understand these days that long-term commitments seem few and far between. I am sure there is research documenting the reasons for this. As I evaluated how my husband and I had made it so far, it was quite easy to see. A lifetime of commitment takes a tremendous amount of work. It also takes a lot more giving than taking. I also recognized a lot of people do not take the real time to know the person in the beginning before a long-term commitment has been made. Why? Very few people really change their personalities throughout life. Sure, we grow with age, but we are who we are. Many people believe that person will change when they enter marriage or a long-term commitment. Believe me, we have learned this by living it! With June being the big wedding month, I hope and say prayers that all those committing can enjoy a life like we have had. This piece is a thank you and a love note to my wonderful friend and soul mate, Danny. And I look forward to many more years of growing apart, growing as individuals, in order to grow together and learning more about you!
Young and naïve.
We thought love was so shallow.
The giggles and anticipation
Of time spent in hugs and kisses.
If we had only known.
Just how deep and wide love could be.
The understanding of another’s soul.
Accepting of another’s heart.
You don’t look at me the same.
And I am so glad you don’t.
Because your look goes all the way to my heart now.
As the years have passed you have learned to see deep within me.
You give me your hand in helping me up.
I am supported as I move by your strength.
I am held as I cry in your arms without question.
You see that I am protected from harm.
We now accept being exactly where each of us need to be.
At first, we did not have the idea that allowing one another to be quiet and alone was ok.
Presently we understand giving love from a deep spot takes quiet moments and loud ones.
It takes both for each of you.
When you allow someone to grow, you show real love.
If you each do not grow apart,
Then you cannot grow together.
We have made room for both.
I love you more than I ever could when I was young.
Your faults have come out.
Yet your greatness has come out as well.
Mine has done the same.
Your love for me is so tender.
And mine for you the same.
We are mouthy and loud toward each other sometimes.
But only to work out our differences because that is what good friends do.
You do for me what others would never do.
I have done for you what others would not do.
We have been there for the blessed times.
And we have been there for the tough times.
Love is giving someone all of you when you have nothing else to give.
It is giving all from the deepest place in your being.
There is no room for selfishness.
Only room for giving.
The love now recognizes so many important things.
Not small, insignificant things.
But the big important things like presence and knowing.
Love recognizes just how special your soul and being are to someone.
When my heart hurts and cries.
You touch my arm and patch the cracks of my soul.
When my body crumbles,
You piece it back together with you care.
I never question whether I would do this with you again.
There is no doubt my choice would be your spirit.
I also will be with you forever.
Our souls will journey throughout eternity.
Lori Rennae Hickman Chapman
If you are in a committed relationship try to remember it is work. Be ready to do the work! If you are on the edge of one, learn all you can about each other and make sure you are willing to give. And finally, if you have come out of a failed commitment, learn and use that experience in preparing for the true soul mate waiting for you. I wish blessings and love to all of you tackling and engaged in commitments!
One thought on “Real Love”
Wisdom expressed so beautifully. 🙂