For those who have never experienced pain, my prayers are that you will never.  Pain, which can be physical or mental, makes life so very difficult.  And many times physical pain can lead to mental pain, although both can occur alone.  People with pain have to view every day and every moment of each day with strength and courage to keep going.  That sounds easy until you are the one having to push yourself to not give up.  Every day we are around people experiencing great pain.  We may not even know it, so this is one reason it is better to give everyone the benefit of doubt.  We never know what pain people have gone through or are going through.  If you are that person in pain, never, ever give up.  Make sure you have a support family.  Someone or a group of some ones that can give you a better perspective on life and living.  If the mental pain increases absolutely seek a professional.  We are not alone in this world, and professional counselors prove that to all that they see.  If your physical pain continues, be your own self advocate with the physicians you see.  Press these professionals until they find the source of the pain.  People do not hurt on purpose.  Physical and mental pain can be beat!  Focusing on living our lives to the fullest will help us to see all the many blessings we do have!  If you are in pain, keep your ounce of hope this week, no matter how small.  Reach for your smallest blessing and hold it tight!  Like the mustard seed, the smallest hope can become enormous in the presence of faith!

The Life of Pain

I feel like a normal person.

I can laugh and have a conversation.

Just like a regular person.

When I am doing this while sitting,

I really feel real.

Then with all my strength,

I try to stand.

The pain bolts through my body.

Then as I take the steps,

The pain makes a continuous bolt.

With each step,

I remember.

I am not normal.

The difficulty walking and moving

Cannot be what normal is.

When I am driving a car,

All seems like a regular driver.

I feel like a real person.

One cannot tell that my back

And my legs are weak.

As I swing my legs to get out of the car,

The ting of pain says slow down.

One foot goes down.

Then the other,

And the standing says the pain remains.

Waking up from a restful sleep,

All seems so well.

When my feet slip into my house shoes,

And I make that first stand,

The pain quickly reminds me there is no peace in taking a step.

As I sit,

My mind says do this or do that.

You can get all these projects done!

Then as the mind puts the physical into motion,

The pain puts a halt to all the projects.

I head to the grocery.

Looking like any other shopper.

Until my back gives way.

Then I lean further and further over the cart.

The debilitating pain keeps me from making it through the store.

I head to the patio.

In hopes of feeding the birds.

With each step I have to breath deep,

To keep the pain from stopping me.

In between feeders I have to sit just to survive.

My joy of gardening, cooking, and decorating has just come to a standstill.

Pain does not allow for these types of joy.

I try to hold on and do these to some degree,

But the pain rises and days after are spent on recovering and more pain.

A soothing bath is so welcomed.

However, it becomes a major undertaking.

The motions have to very slow and very intentional,

In order to not fall and be more damaged.

What once was soothing now is stressful.

I pray that the pain will go away.

I do have faith.

Although it has worn thin begging God to heal me.

No matter what I do or don’t do,

The pain is there.

I try to doctor and protect the damaged body.

But It means giving up things.

It means sitting out on art exhibits, shopping trips, or dinners.

To be brutely honest,

It is very difficult to live with.

Some days I want to give up.

I just think its easier to sit down and not move.

Then I remember, I am not here for just me.

I am here for those I love.

And for those that love me.

God has me here for a special purpose.

I would never let that opportunity go by.

I will hold my faith strong.

My hope will rise up,

And I will live the fullest life through pain!

Lori Rennae Hickman Chapman

Thank you for being with me this week.  Pain is a tough subject that we often smooth over or ignore all together.  Remember, we do not know what others go through in this life.  Pain is very real.  It needs to be acknowledged and treated, whether it is physical or mental.  Let others know they are never alone in this world.  May your week be pain free and filled with love!  Plant your mustard seed of hope and watch it grow!

Love,

Rennae

Journey