In these days due to so many methods of technology, we can very easily develop a negative attitude.  We must work hard at finding the positive and filling our days with positivity.  I certainly know it is a difficult thing to do.  We get into the day to day schedules, work, appointments, and obligations.  Then we are hit with negative story after negative story in the media.  Of course, other people are being sucked in too, so they are sharing as well.  Soon we tend to only see horrible struggles of daily life.  We have to just turn it off!!!  Literally!!  Turn off the methods of technology that are bringing you into this world.  Find and seek out positive media areas, positive people, and positive environments.  Most of all actually start pointing put your blessings to yourself and pointing out the blessings of others around you!  Look and see all of the blessings you have.  When I start observing and listing mine, I go what a wonderful life!  I will see a blessing here, there, and everywhere!  Join me this week and think about your many blessings as I share several of mine.

The Best Day of My Life

As the cool wind swirled,

And the March sunshine came down.

I met them in the yard.

I had never smelled much less held such a vibrant, delicate flower!

The best day of my life was the day I met the daffodils!

 

The gym was crowded with fans cheering their teams.

Fun banter could be heard between the fans.

Then there he sat confident and handsome.

There I sat trying not to show my admiration!

The best day of my life was the day I found my love and soul mate!

 

The days were difficult and filled with sickness.

But the anticipation was so joyful!

Preparation and planning were going on for months.

I saw their beautiful eyes and held their small, sweet hands.

The best day of my life was the day I greeted my children into this world!

 

It is hard to realize the child you held is now holding his own!

The legacy you wanted for love came from sweet angels planned by God.

All so different and all so like the family.

Their eyes bright with hope!

The best day of my life was holding my grandchildren in my arms!

 

The smells could never be forgotten.

And the savory tastes lingered.

She and I would pinch and toss in the perfect seasonings.

The end products were presentable for any great restaurant!

The best day of my life was cooking with Em!

 

You could smell the dirt and warmth rise from the Earth.

We could feel softness and warmness between our toes and on our fingers.

The seeds all finding their places in the nurturing Earth.

The stories were long and revealing.

The best day of my life was gardening with my Jim.

 

The rhythm of the swing was like an instrument.

A slight breeze blew past us with each note.

The train whistle joined the rhythm.

Her arm was safely around me and made this composition unforgettable.

The best day of my life was swinging on the front porch with Mama Hick.

 

The waves flowing across our feet.

The boys riding boards in the white caps.

The little one building castles in the sand.

The best day of my life was family vacations on the beach with the souls I love!

 

Hustle and bustle would go on to get everything on the table.

The smells of good food wafted through the house.

The warnings to grab their drinks were yelled.

The talk, the stories, the laughter, and the moments.

The best day of my life were the meals around the table with my family!

 

Tubes were everywhere.

The body was still except for the breathing tube and heartbeat on the monitor.

The days were long, somber, and scary.

Then he spoke and woke up!

The best day of my life was the day my man awakened!

 

Soft fur cuddled next to me.

Tails wagging as I get home.

A big wet kiss on my nose as I wake up in the morning.

They require nothing but my love.

The best day of my life is always with my puppies!

 

The excitement has spread out into the hall.

The anticipation of doing the experiment can be seen on all their faces.

Today they will learn something new in a new exciting way.

Today I will get to share facts and truths.

The best day of my life was watching a student discover learning in my classroom!

 

As I think back, so many days are the best days!

Days filled with new beginnings.

All completing an exceptional journey.

I really have discovered the best day of my life is every day of my life!

Because every day breaths blessings into my soul!

Lori Rennae Hickman Chapman

Count the best days of your life this week.  Those days may include small blessings or large blessings, but all are blessings!  Make sure you understand I am not saying to ignore your passions for helping others.  You can continue to follow that passion and still avoid falling into a negative world.  I pray today and all the following tomorrows, you can enjoy your blessings and have the most positive life!

Love,

Rennae

 

 

Blessings

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

How is your faith?  That is a question I would try and dodge some days!  Why?  Because today my faith might be strong and outstanding, as where tomorrow it might be weak and flimsy.  Faith is always stepping into the unknown, trusting that the Creator is always there.  There is where I get into trouble because my emotions and mind carry me off into a million different direction, instead of being focused toward the one way.  I really feel God wanted faith for our relationship with Him, because He wanted us to also practice this faith in our relationships with others.  It is just incredible how He demonstrates to us how to be a good human being.  He uses things like faith, love, trust, and many more inspiring qualities in teaching us how to get along with others.  It is just sometimes so difficult!  Especially the faith!  If I could just get consistent!  But I know the most important thing is that I keep trying to be consistent.  Even when my track record is not perfect.  I know the Creator is not giving up on me, so I cannot give up on myself.  Enjoy the prose this week!  Let your faith grow!

Faith

A word used by so many.

Yet understood by very few.

Actions and fate are believed to be faith.

Prayers and religions are said to be faith.

 

Do we really know?

What is faith?

Can I put my hands on it?

Can I give it away?

 

I doubt it!  Oh—my goodness!

Doubt can be faith, too!

How can I know faith?

If I haven’t experienced doubt?

 

The opposite of each always provides us with the truth.

The opposite of faith is fear.

Faith lets us believe in tomorrow.

Faith does not allow for the fear we can have.

 

The seed is faith.

Plants and flowers are produced from faith.

The trust in others is faith.

When others disappoint, we have faith.

 

The step forward is faith.

Faith saves us from regression.

Death and life are faith.

Now and then are faith.

 

Knowing that what we have experienced provides growth.

Knowing that what lies ahead provides strength.

But faith is most of all knowing that relationships are our faith.

And our journey cannot be a journey without relationships.

 

The past cannot be changed.

I cannot always form the future.

But I must not fear the unknown.

Predicting the present cannot be done without faith.

 

I can have faith that those I am with

Are the past, the future, the unknown, and the present.

They are the faith I know so little of.

They are the hope I have faith in.

 

A word spoken by so many.

Yet will never be understood by anyone.

Even though I cannot see or touch or understand.

I will have it because there is something there greater than myself.

Lori Rennae Hickman Chapman

I feel the point of this week is to never give up.  Even if we are weak today, it does not mean we can’t be strong in our faith tomorrow.  Do not fear, be brave, and practice that faith this week!  My prayers are sending faith, trust, and love for you this week!

Love,

Rennae

 

 

Journey

 

 

With all the green abounding this month, St. Patty’s Day, trees leafing, and grass greening, I was reminded of that little green monster, jealousy, that slips into our lives.  Unfortunately, this little demon gets the best of us.  I am not talking about just envying money or materials items.  I am also speaking about even desiring other peoples’ jobs, their family, and even their life style.  Jealousy can cause us to only see others and what they have and our desire to want what they have.  Jealousy strikes anyone at any age and at any time.  You should not be ashamed, because everyone has thoughts even though we don’t always voice them.  However, you do have options to gauge your mind back in the right direction when it follows this creature.  My piece this week talks about this and how or what we really need to do when the monster comes after us!  Read today and hopefully next time the green eyes come seeking you, you will really be strong and know the right thing to do!  You will make the right choice that creates happiness in your heart!

Why Not Me?

How can it be that we think we need what someone else has?

Jealousy creeps its way into our minds and our hearts.

We are so worried about what they have.

We ignore what blessings are poured upon us.

We want what they have.

 

Instead of celebrating with them and for them,

We ask question after question of why them and not me?

It is the mind games all over again and again.

Jealousy is the green shadow that clouds our lighted vision.

It hides the correct perception we should have of the world.

 

Jealousy distorts the truth.

It causes heartache and pain.

Jealousy is the seed of hate.

Jealousy brings out lies in the very best of people.

It draws away from our own gifts.

 

Others have their portion given by God.

We also have our blessed part,

But we simply are too ignorant to comprehend.

When this evil shadow continues to fight in controlling our minds,

We have to fight back.

 

Prayers of thank are how we fight.

Acknowledge the grace you are given.

Desire goodness, greatness, and love for our neighbors.

We have to want what God wants for us.

Because satisfaction and contentment come from acceptance of oneself.

Lori Rennae Hickman Chapman

As the green appears everywhere this month enjoy it in the right places but fight the desire to feed the green monster.  Give those thanks and say those blessings for everything you are given.  You are special the way you are, where you are, and what all you have!  You are you in this time with what you have and where you need to be—-not someone else.  Enjoy the green trees and grass that were given for you to freely enjoy this week!  Enjoy with a joyful and peaceful heart, not an envious one.

Love,

Rennae

 

 

Journey

 

I don’t know how many times I have looked at the younger photos of myself and just did not recognize who I saw.  As life has progressed, I have noticed this more.  We reflect back where we were and who we were, and we can not help but to compare with where we are now and who we are now.  We can even become judgmental if we do step back and see the whole image.  It can be a real personal check up on oneself.  This can be for a good tool, or it can be a bad tool if you use it against yourself.  We are the very hardest evaluators on ourselves.  Reflecting as I have done should be used for positive results or results that help one to grow and improve.  With what all you have done and accomplished be true to how far you have come.  Be truthful but be fair.  The biggest thing is don’t let it scare you to reflect.  We can all dig up skeletons that can be challenging.  However, our digging can reveal some real jewels and treasures that we would not dare want to forget.  Read my post today as I have shared with you my experience.

Images

She stared at the photo.

Wondering where this young face had gone.

She could not recognize the eyes of the one that held the hope.

The person she saw seemed far away in another time or in another world.

 

She stared at the face in the mirror.

Wondering how this face looked so tired.

She could see the lines of worry and also the ones from smiles.

Her eyes were dim with just a small flame.

 

How could the two visions be so far apart?

They were the same person.

Holding the same hope, love, and passion in their heart.

Physically they appeared the same, but there was a change.

 

The one in the photo dreamed of traveling places across the country and the world.

Her young heart saw her succeeding in helping others.

She felt confident and strong.

She searched for love, adventure, and excitement.

The young face in the photo knew where these adventures would be and why.

 

As where the woman in the mirror felt tired and stretched.

This woman could not see a passion in her future.

She doubted if her visits to extravagant place could ever take place due to her body.

The face in the mirror yearned for new adventures in new directions.

She searched for love, peace, and joy.

 

How could the two be so far apart?

Why would the mirror face not see through to the youth’s image?

Living had provided blessings and joys,

But it had also brought pain and suffering.

 

The existence of the face in the mirror had changed to one of survival.

The face in the photo showed one challenging survival.

The mirror showed the dents in her heart.

As where the photo envisioned the heart that extended out to the world.

 

The more she gazed on the face in the mirror,

The more she began to recognize the face in the photo.

She touched her cheek and then her forehead.

The memories of her passion came to mind,

 

She ran her fingers through her hair.

Now short and dignified.

She tilted her chin up,

And felt a little more respect.

The strength rose from her heart.

 

The mirror reflected a woman who had cared for a family.

A woman who had cared for children.

A strong woman with endurance and confidence.

One who could overcome all the beatings of life.

No matter what was thrown her way.

 

She turned to see the photo one last time.

To her surprise it contained the image of the woman in the mirror.

The smile in each face was the same.

The eyes were lite with a deep glowing violet.

 

The aura glowed around the face whether in the photo or the mirror.

She knew life and circumstances were not the same.

But she had the same heart and love.

She was passionate, loving, caring, and joyful!

 

The photo mirrored her journey.

The mirror photographed her living.

The soul in both predicted her path forward.

Turning the lights out, both faded into her mind.

Lori Rennae Hickman Chapman

Look in that mirror or stare at that photo today and realize how amazing you are!  Realize this image is a stunning, strong, and incredible person. The image that portrays your own journey.  You have all the right lines, dents, and creases for the right reasons.  Look at that photo and know it produced your image in the mirror and understand this is the image of your journey and no one else!  I send love and respect for the courage you have in reflecting upon your great life!

Love,

Rennae

 

Journey

 

 

 

 

Dealing with an aging and ailing parent can be heartbreaking.  If you have dealt with this situation, you know exactly what I am talking about.  If you have not, unfortunately it will probably happen in your future.  I wrote the piece today over the past several years as my Father has aged.  He has been in and out of the hospital, home, and a short-term care (rehab)/long-term care facility over the past two years.  With his condition, we have had to seek out outside help and care.  It is so very hard leaving a parent in the hands of someone else, but just necessary for their safety in many cases.  In today’s world, there are dependable professionals and then there are those not so dependable.  The emotions that overcome you as you kiss them goodbye and head of the facility can be overwhelming.  Even if you know it is the right place and safe place for them.

The most difficult thing is knowing and seeing the man that was a strong worker, the man that could hook a worm blindfolded, the man that could give you right advise always, or the man that could cook a roast like a five star chief, can now barely get his socks on, barely walk alone, or has difficulty shaving and bathing.  I realize, as you do, that this is a true, but sad part of life.  However, this does not make the hurt and pain any better.  As I have experienced all of this and had to go through parenting my Dad, I truly believe the most important thing has been treating him with dignity.  No matter what he can or cannot do, he absolutely deserves the respect for living this life as hard as he could.

My Dad’s situation has been different from my Mom’s situation.  The Alzheimer’s took my Mom mentally and physically a little piece at a time.  We treated her with dignity although the situations were very difficult.  We were just more in a necessary control because she just was not in reality.  The key there is we, my Dad and I together.  However, my Dad is really bright and on top of conversations and thoughts, but his body is just failing him.  I have included him in all decisions.  I have kept him up on all family business, decisions, and happenings.  I have ask his advise about issues.  I have shown him the respect of having control of his own life.  Most of all I have gained so much from our conversations about life and just being.  Those are moments and times that are sacred.  I hope today you can understand that you are not alone in going through this life process.  Read with me and see if you have experienced the same feelings, and if you have not been through this yet, I hope you can gain hope in knowing it is ok to have these feelings.  Also know there is help and others to lean on.  It takes a village to care for the caregiver—reach out to your village!

Living With Dignity

Sometimes I feel I want him to live more than he wants to live.

Live for yourself.

Don’t give up!

 

I just want you to live so you can come home.

You can be with us to laugh and smile.

To feel the breeze, touch the sun, and sit with the dog.

 

I get mad at him.

The guilt arises about everything within my heart and  mind.

One guilt thought leads to another.

 

Why have I not done more?

Why am I not doing more for him??

How could I leave this man?

 

He has held me when I was scared.

He has always loved me.

He has lifted me to greater heights than I knew I could go.

 

Why would I have some else care for him?

The guilts turn into pain.

Pain of loss and grieving.

 

I get mad at You God.

Why God would You let existence come to this?

Why would You take the dignity out of his life?

 

God, I have to place blame.

But I know this is not right.

He taught me that You love us always and only want the best.

 

It hurts to see one that you love go through pain and struggle.

It hurts when the solutions are not comfortable.

Your heart and soul burst open with pain.

 

I only want to remember him as my strength.

The one who was always there to soothe me.

The one that taught me faith in You God.

 

I want to remember him as the one who said, “Don’t cry, it will all be ok.”

“This is life and we move forward.” he would say.

He would conclude with “We are strong because of who we are and all we have been given.”

 

Well this type of living is a bitch!

And I don’t like it!

I want to scream and yell!

 

I wish the monsters deep in our minds would never come out.

I wish the glitches in our synapses would always work.

I wish our body parts would always do what our brains wanted.

 

I wish this life would not suck us dry,

Leaving us empty cavities of pain,

Oblivious to who we are.

 

Most of all I just wish I had my Daddy back.

But I know deep down he may want God more.

I have to accept this as truth.

 

If he chooses to go or not to with You God,

I know he is the man I have loved.

He is the courageous one.

 

I will give all I can to provide him with dignity.

He will be respected for the strong man he is.

He will be shown respect by me for the father he has been.

 

He has shown this bitch of a life who is boss!

He gave his all to this life!

He will leave life with a character that will never be replaced.

Lori Rennae Hickman Chapman

Caregivers take on a whole new world when caring for their parents.  It may not be a parent, but it could be a grandparent, aunt or uncle, or even a sibling.  Just know someone else has experienced questions, doubts, concerns, and worries just like you.  But most importantly know that God is with you in and through this phase of your life.  He knows your true heart about helping and being a servant.  This is life’s way of teaching us real dignity.  Blessings and love this week—-and some hugs too!

Love,

Rennae

 

Journey

 

 

 

The valley and the mountain tops—we have all been there.  We have sometimes even been on the side of the mountain going up and down!  It seems no matter where I am at in this scene, God always provides constant light for me.  The light of others reaching down and pulling us up or encircling us at the top!  As we climb or decline, they are always there.  The light of their souls touched by God, touching us.  You never know who it may be, and some times  you will really be surprised who it is.  It is so comforting to know no matter the shadows that appear or the tall trees that block the light, can never stop the light of these others.  No matter where you are in this scenario, deep in the valley, on the side of the land, or on the mountain top, reach hard for the light.  Stretch till it hurts in order to reach the light!  Let it seep into your inner core, so the next time you can be the constant light for someone else!  Don’t waiver, be strong, and be constant in displaying your constant light of love!

The Constant Light

When she dropped to depths that were too low to return,

She laid in the valley.

Alone, heart ache, and sorrow.

The horizon and light were hard to see.

 

She could not find the desire nor hope to move much less climb.

Relationships were always difficult.

Being the only one, she could only practice outside the family.

And she had not practiced well.

 

She sought self and stepped deeper and deeper into the shadows of the valley.

The roll down the mountain made it easier to escape into the depths.

Then just as darkness began to take over,

She felt the touch.

 

Not the touch of one, but the touch of many.

One hand caught her finger and with mystical strength pulled her upward.

Then another took her whole hand.

Another grabbed her arm and another her shoulder.

 

Slowly, but strongly, they lifted her up from the depths.

Up the mountain.

As she looked forward up the mountain,

She saw the brightest light pulling all of the sacred souls forward.

 

Soon they all peered behind and saw the valley.

As her eyes gazed she saw many lights around the souls.

She was warmed and her heart grew lighter!

Her love stretched beyond her body.

 

She realized nothing was worth not being with these sacred spirits,

Spirits filled with God.

They were her constant,

Because God was their eternal light.

 

The valley of humility gave her fear,

But the courage of her soul mates gave her peace and hope.

She would never be ignorant again.

The valley would never capture her again.

 

Next time when she reached the valley,

She knew confidently to reach toward the mountains for the lights of her partners.

She might go there,

However, her hand would move forth for those that loved her and walked with her each and every moment.

 

Humility causes us to better understand we need others.

Humility is redemption.

Not from some evil source, but from ourselves.

Humility is the self allowing service from God through the hands of others.

 

The valley is necessary.

The side of the mountain and the mountain top are necessary.

But the Holy Spirit in others is more necessary.

For they are God’s constant light lifting our hearts up from the valley.

Lori Rennae Hickman Chapman

As you are moving on the mountain and valley journey this week, be open to the love lights and faces that come your way.  I feel we ignore and simply look over living in that constant light.  We hurt, we are in a hurry, we are caught up on self, or we are tending to so many others that we miss those reaching out to us.  Don’t miss the constant light of blessing that you are presented with this week!  Never let the light die!!

Love,

Rennae

 

 

 

Journey

Happy Valentine’s Day!  With it being Valentine’s Day, I could just not help but think about love!  Most of us relate this day to romantic love, because the day is really marketed for that type of love.  Of course, the origins of the day itself was not for a good purpose.  Thank goodness the day has evolved into one of real love!  And an all-encompassing love—agape (God love), philia (brotherly love), and Eros (romantic love)!

My piece today was the love I and another dear friend felt for each other.  This friend and I were able to enjoy coffee and gardens, yet engage in heated discussions about politics and religion, still hugging and loving at the end of the day!  We were able to stretch each other in our thinking and spiritual growth.  You know—that person you feel like you have known your whole life, but actually you have only known a short period of time.  When these people come along in your life, you immediately know it’s a blessing!  As we travel these paths in life, we do have friends that come and go according to were you along the journey.  But you only get a few of these jewels that touch your life in such a unique way.  So, take today to honor, send love, or think about the jewels you have experienced in your life.  If none are coming to mind, then it is a perfect day to discover or find a new dear wise friend remembering there are all types of love out there!

Dear Wise Friend

It is as though our souls were once together on two stars far away.

Yet our minds and spirits have shared a beach for such a short period.

 

How can people meet for the first time and have known each other for a life time?

I have never known this world without you Dear Wise Friend.

 

Even though our physical beings have not always worked together or played together,

We have always been together by our spirits.

 

The cheer in your voice always lets me know this a blessed day.

Your warm hug reassures me that I am safe.

 

Dear Wise Friend your honest words help me to grow on this journey.

The light that you possess is so deep and strong that everyone who touches you

goes away with love and spirit.

 

I really do not care why or how we came to be after so many years.

But I certainly know to have a companion as yourself on this journey is a treasure.

 

Dear Wise Friends are true treasures.

The soul that speaks to your soul when others are not brave.

 

The one who is not afraid to question humanity.

The one who gleans character, uniqueness, and peace.

 

A treasure hidden from those that are too blind to accept the truth.

The one that lifts a prayer for everyone in need.

 

Dear Wise Friend as our lights burn even brighter with each leg of the journey,

I have comfort knowing my treasure has always and will always be having

you beside me—

 

My Dear Wise Friend.

Lori Rennae Hickman Chapman

 

I could not let this week go without thanking my Dear Wise Friend.  I am eternally grateful for all of the learning and growth I experienced by knowing you.  May your life be blessed and your journey be joyful.  My prayer for everyone today is to know and experience love!  God bless you and your family this day and week as you celebrate love!

Love,

Rennae

 

 

Relationships

 

I just cannot wait!  I have waited too long!  Please just get on with it!  Have you thought or spoken these words? I sure have.  When life and circumstances get slow and bogged down, I get so impatient.  I just need the circumstance to be resolved and over.  I know in my life, I have sometimes made some big mistakes because I just could not be patient.  The wait creates pain in the way of thoughts of what is going to happen or what might happen.  The wait creates great anxiety.  Even after all the studies I have gone through and all the literature I have read explaining the benefits of waiting, I drive myself crazy!  I have to put my brain’s stop lights on and remember the experience is the whole purpose of the circumstance.

It is necessary to bring to the forefront the purpose of this situation.  The situation is not there to give me pain, it is there to teach me some very valuable life lesson.  I believe it all comes back to not living in the moment.  I become obsessed on the past or anxious about the future, which can ruin the entire life experience.  I am just so blessed that God is so patient with me.  I am given time to process the full experience.  Even though to me it seems like a life time, the time is really very short!  As you examine your situations this week and your patience runs short in some, try to examine the situation and look for the lesson.  Be open to the learning about yourself and others.  Truly live and love yourself and others in the present!

Journey of Patience

How do You do it?

Why do You allow me in again and again?

I make a mistake.

You say you are forgiven.

I immediately make the mistake again.

 

I know this is grace.

I know I am wrong.

I know I can do better.

But to You, none of this matters.

You see me as a special child worth saving.

 

You are patient with my growth and with my setbacks.

I become confused about my situations.

I beg to be removed,

But You say look,

And see what you are learning.

 

I yell at myself.

I yell out at others.

I yell at You.

Because this is not what I planned.

And after all this You still take me back.

 

The words themselves sound so calm,

Especially patience.

But they are anything but that.

Anxiety causes the fears to arise,

Which lessens my patience.

 

I beg and beg for this time to be gone,

But You say have patience child,

The lesson will be learned.

You must go through to see the joy.

You must experience to share your faith.

 

A day flies through.

Week moves from week.

One month turns into another.

Until you see the year,

And you cannot put a point on where you are.

 

I know You have the direction.

But You need me to be patient.

Please bring it to me sooner.

The solution or the answer.

Please relieve the pain.

 

This patience is so difficult.

But most of all thank You for not giving up on me.

For not letting me fall,

But for lifting me up.

For comforting me.

 

Patience is the hardest part of this journey.

I forget to live now.

I forget to be where I am.

Grow my heart to understand,

And grow my life to accept.

Lori Rennae Hickman Chapman

Traveling your path this week try to work on your patience.  Even it includes the checkout line at the grocery or Target!  You may meet a special soul there that needs your love, or another soul may be your savior for the day.  Look for how your patience grows your life.  I pray blessings for you and yours this week!  May your life be enriched this week by the blessings and patience of your journey!

Love,

Rennae

 

Journey

 

It is incredible what we have learned about neurology and the brain over the past fifty years.  Leaning about the intricate structures and workings of the brain has allowed us to better understand how people work and what goes on in their thinking.  For many years I would often feel so weird or odd because my thinking would be all over the place.  Most of the time very different from others.  Teaching one year, my teacher assistance, who I absolutely adored and loved, came into class one day and said, “Ok, where are we getting off the merry go round today?!”  She said this because I was always changing directions to create something new and interesting for my kids.  That is how my brain worked riding the merry go round.

My thoughts and directions would hop off and then back on to another spot.  Now this is a great thing if you are teaching middle schoolers because they are never bored!  However, most adults just could not understand and definitely had a hard time following.  The thinking of most adults would run more on the playground horizontal ladder—beginning to end.  Although many people would prefer the slide thinking—go quickly and start all over.  The geodesic dome would be the choice of others—methodical methods of moving from the ground to the top.  Some would prefer the swing—go one direction to the end and then change direction and swing the other way.

My family even today has difficulty following me many times.  My husband is a horizontal ladder person, so you could see where the difficulty comes in!  My conversation will be at one stop on the merry go round, and then jump back on to just get off two stops later.  They have gotten better at connecting the dots, but it is still a struggle.  As for me, all the research I have studied demonstrates my brain works the way it should for who I am.  The merry go round with the many ons and offs allows me to search for new meaning in different directions, create, develop, and take adventures.  My merry go round adventures have led me to be the person God wants me to be.  Through all the brain research there is a truth that cannot be denied.  We are all very different and how we carry out God’s purpose for us is very different.  Which also means our thinking processes should also be very different.  All the observations of how the brain works allows us all to see where we fit in.  So, use the reading this week to encourage and inspire you to study your brain, personality, and soul.  If you know where you stand, you can be more confident in who you are and better find your fit in this playground of life!

Life on the Merry Go Round

When we first really understand our place in life,

It can truly be sobering,

Especially for a dreamer.

We understand the purpose of the merry go round.

 

It is amazing how in the middle of so many people,

Souls can be alone on their own.

We all go through life looking or thinking that we have a special task or a special mission.

We so often feel we are here to set it, change it, or make that difference the world needs.

 

Then be it fate or faith,

We disown the task or mission.

We know at that moment it is not about our task or mission.

We have emotions that create fear leading to loneliness.

 

We pray for the hurt not to rise or to go away,

But it is the pain that shocks us to the Presence.

Loneliness comes in all ways and all forms.

It really comes to one in the middle of many—trying each day to just be.

 

Alone will come,

But my faith knows it will go.

Lonely—Alone—Loneliness—The mind’s hell among the living.

The place that draws me to God.

 

I am who I am.

I fought for many years.

I forgot for many days.

I thought I needed to be what others wanted.

 

I may not always think or do what it seems should be done or thought.

I may not always do what I am suppose to do.

I have learned joy on my merry go round.

Instead of fighting my mind wandering, I have come to take each wandering as an adventure.

 

Just as the deer venture from the safe haven of the cedars,

I also venture into the space created by the present moment.

I know I was with God and was sent here for His purpose.

It is in my spirit to be what God wishes me to be, not what others wish me to be.

 

It is my wish that He is in me.

I have a lot of work to do on this self and body.

But I have grown in soul and love by my ventures.

I will continue to strive for my being to be.

 

I will recognize the ons and offs of the merry go round,

And let each move take me more into God’s being for me.

Dreams of the past and expectations of the future will drift into the space and presence,

But not escape to be unfulfilled.

 

Why?  Because God is my presence, my reason, my dreams, and my passion.

I am because I am God’s being.

I do not want a role.

I do not want a label.

 

Being is the faith I seek.

The merry go round provides me the haven to see color, hear melodies, smell excitement, and feel the wind in the middle of many.

I am the breeze created by God’s merry go round,

That ventures into the space of others and creates the touch of presence.

Lori Rennae Hickman Chapman

Research the new brain and neurology studies this week.  This will allow you to examine your own thinking and behavioral patterns to better understand yourself.  Enter your search through prayer and with an open mind that the Holy Spirit will lead you to answers.  There is not right way, there is just your way, and how that way leads you to your purpose in this world!  Have fun on your ride of choice!

Love,

Rennae

 

 

Journey

 

 

 

 

This season can be a time of loneliness.  All the excitement from the holidays has disappeared.  Family and friends are back to normal routines.  We are all back in normal routines.  The dreary weather and dark skies may make us believe there is no one there for us.  This can even happen whether one is in the middle of a million people or in the presence of only one person.  And it can happen right in the middle of our normal routines.  The more the atmosphere darkens, we seep deeper into ourselves.  Not always in a good way.  We can retreat into our own dark thoughts and downward spirals.  The piece today speaks to a time when I felt deeply alone.  I did have people to reach out to me, but I was not reaching back.  When we recognize this downward spiral to loneliness, we must put our foot down and say stop!  Stop!!  Reach back!  So, as this weather, atmosphere, and environments starts pulling us down, we have to resist.  Resist and reach for the light!  There is a hand or voice waiting to grab you!

In The Lonely Place

It happens by oneself.

It happens in the middle of a thousand people.

The empty depths that is ourselves creeps in.

As one suffers, others continue around the one without ever knowing.

 

Distant murmurs are the only sounds.

You cannot feel.

You cannot touch.

It is not dark.

It is just lonely.

 

The only thing beating is your own heart.

Your own head and mind are the only things speaking.

You cry deep within.

You stand crying while others go about their day.

You want to say, “Hey! Here I am!”.

Look at me!

 

I can share with you.

Here-Here I am.

Don’t you see me?

Did I die and I do not know?

 

I am here.

All alone.

See me.

Hear me.

Touch me.

Lori Rennae Hickman Chapman

I hope this week if the dark loneliness time creeps into your life, you can be stronger and courageous enough to reach out.  You are never alone.  Somewhere and somehow you have touched and meant so much to others, there is someone trying to reach you.  And the Holy Spirit is always with you providing companionship and guidance.  You can take that step!  Reach out!  Escape the lonely places!

Love,

Rennae

 

 

Journey